Today I'm disappointed in myself. I don't like this feeling. I know friends and family will say, "Give yourself a break." And it's not like I've done anything terrible. But I have misused my time.
I've been putting too much energy into a friendship that is likely never going to bring me inspiration or true ease. I've been here before in Nairobi: Desperate for connection, I've spent time with people with whom I never really connected. And I regretted that misuse of time then as well.
I like who I am, and I like spending time alone -- in fact I need this regularly. But sometimes I want to be with others. And when there is no one around who I really love spending time with, I compromise. And I often end up feeling lonely as a result.
I'm not sure of the solution to this problem. Obviously, it would be ideal to find and spend time with people whose company I really enjoy. But when I've yet to come across these people, what is the best course of action?
I recommit to living an inspired fulfilling life. And I recommit to attracting people who make me feel inspired and appreciated and doing the same for them. Just wish it were a little easier some days. I'm also realizing that I need to appreciate and value more the time I do spend with special people, including a wonderful day walking with giraffes yesterday with Megan and a relaxing breakfast this morning with Annie and Alex.
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